The core of my heart

My heart felt heavy the whole day but I just have to carry the load.
But is the sacrifice worth it?
One sacrifices for other's happiness, the one is in agony while the other is confused.
However I rather be sad than seeing others in agony.
May happiness be with you to make this sacrifice worhwhile.
I am misunderstood, no one understand my true heart, appearance does not depict what is inside me.
The love is still inside me but the love is worthless now.
If the world had judged me, then let it be as I will accept it with an open mind and bear no grudges against you.
I want a break from the sweet and sour moment but instead of a break, forever it will be lost.
Freedom comes after the sadness, then sadness comes after the freedom.
Let it be, let it be
The cycle of will never cease and end

Writing this without the means of hurting others, just to express the load in me...

The new me ( I hope and I hope)

If I really could turn back the time, I will be a much better boyfriend to you...But since it is imposibble to do that, I will just be a good ex, and I hope we will be good friends forever until eternity...I noe I always broke a lot of promises previously, but it's time I will really change...

Things I want to achieve:
1) Give you back your freedom and life
2) Enjoy me being single again
3) Study and study hard
4) Write more blogs...
5) Improve my english
6) Be happy
7) Know more true friends
and many many more...

My heart mellows

Today, I will begin my blog by writing a story:

In a small room in a majestic castle somewhere far far far away
There was a cage with a beautiful golden bird inside him
In the beginning, she was the happiest bird in town
Living inside the comfort of the cage, filling the room with her happiness and always singing with her beautiful voice
However after a while, the task becomes too routine for her. The bird had became bored with her task
She then wants to leave the cage and see the beuatiful world outside.
However the cage refused to let her go, in fear that there will be no bird to accompany him anymore because he feared the bird will never fly back.
The bird felt despair as she seek her freedom. She refused to do her task, she refused to give up trying to escape from the cage. She tried and tried until one day, she felt sick...
The cage felt very sad and finally gave in to her...She flew away after that
She never come back...

I think this story shows an importanyt value in life. The cage provides comfort, love and safety for the bird, but he does not give her any freedom. When the bird want to see the outside, he refuse her request and this cause the bird to hate him. Why couldn't the cage just let her go, if the cage satisfy her needs, she will fly back after she enjoy the experience outside. But he refuses to let her go and when she has the chance to leave, she will never come back. Now the cage is empty...

Love is a 2 way thingy, you cannot force another person to do something as you do not own her. She has her rights to do her own thing and lives her own life. A question that I ask myself is, do you rather be sad and see someone else happy or do you prefer to be happy and see someone else sad. I think and think...I rather be sad than seeing someone that you care and love to be upset...

My heart was as hard as the rock, intimidating all the nemesis, full of hatred and selfishness...But then suddenly I heard a whisper, "does thou want a woman or a happiness?". It finally struck me...Why why why I am doing all of this now? Be brave, be open hearted and just let go...

I shall not make thou an oath as one without a heart, is one that is less than a penny, but my heart will change as seeing you sad, hurt me more than a thousand of needles piercing through my heart

I am sorry for all the things I have done...

I want to change and I will change...Just fly away and the cage door will be always open...

Can't get a wink

Trying to close my eyes, to rest my tired mind...but I could not, I just could not. Thus, here I am back wring this blog again. I know my behavior had been too erratic recently, behaving unlike what you all perceived me to be. I am sorry if I have hurt anyone by my mean jokes, I know I can be mean sometimes, but I only want to make others laugh. I am maybe in despair now but I seek pleasure from seeing to you all laught. I do not want to hurt anyone and for you all to be sad too, I want happiness in you all, that's the best gift a friend can give to you. In this sad moment, I really enjoy listening to a particular song, "If I could turn back the hand of time." I know I had been playing this song over and over again, and it became too irritating for you all as it saddens the mood. But this song exactly describe how I am feeling now...It would be so wonderful if we are allowed to return to the past to change all the mistakes we made, but probably it will just cause more disasters to the already grieving earth that we live in now.

I really glad that friends have been there to support me, people had willingly offered me their ears so I can pour out my sorrows...Oh, sensetive emotional Pisces me, why must i make trouble for others while they have enough problems for themselves...I wish to use this opp to thank friends like Matt, San, Paulina, Tuck, Selena and all those who had help me in one way or another...A sincere thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Pissed off

I am damn pissed now, feeling a knive had been stabbed deep into my heart, betrayed by people who I thought they cared about me...Why must it happen? why can't they think about my feeling? Am I being too nice? Am I just an object that supposed not to have any feelings and you can just threw me aside like some objects? Don't I deserve some compassion, symphaty and love? I dunnoe and I dun care. I do not want to be down because of this but this scar will remain there for along time...

My Name

My first blog

I finally have my first blog. It seems that everyone I know already have one and I believe this is the time I should have one too. I will have 2 blogs, where I will use this one to express my thoughts while using the other one to express my views on investment related stuff such as equity, forex, bond and property. I am not a big time investor but I have a suffecient knowledge of them due to my education and personal interest. So if anyone wishes to know more about them, just mail me at henchkman@gmail.com and I will post the answer in my other blog http://henrybuffett.blogspot.com. Then, I will use this blog to describe my feelings, experience. As I am not a very strong in writing, therefore I hope to use this blog to improve my English. So this is my first blog and I hope there will be many more to come in the future.